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Thursday, June 17, 2010 3:07 PM
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okay seriously. you ingrate. you FUCKING INGRATE.
i know im not perfect okay?
i know. I KNOW.
god.
i dont need reminders about it.
you rant about this kind of shit everyday
have you ever thought about how it makes the rest of us feel?
seriously.
ive tried my best not to annoy you.
and ive tried my best to be a good friend to you.
but obviously i havent tried hard enough.
i dont know how im supposed to make you feel better
since you constantly feel your life is shit.
dont you even feel SLIGHTLY grateful towards me?
i collected your homework for you when you were sick
i helped you when you were going through a hard time with ___
this whole time, i thought that maybe if i tried hard enough you'd actually regard me as a friend.
guess i was wrong.
the minute you make up, you just leave.
as if i was never there.
as if i was just a backup.
IS THAT ALL I FUCKING AM TO YOU?
seriously.
i swear i will give up this false pretense one day.
have you forgotten how good friends we were at one point of time?
when ___ wasnt talking to you?
do you?
or was i just the temporary person for you to be friends with until someone better came along?
i seriously dont even know why i tried so hard.
do you think it was EASY for me to find your present?
you may think that im showing off
but did you even consider the fact that maybe, just maybe
I WAS TRYING TO GIVE YOU A GOOD PRESENT?
i know maybe something else would have been more sincere,
but i suck at these kinds of things, and you know it.
you haven't even worn it once, have you?
DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK FOR ME TO CONVINCE MY PARENTS TO BRING ME BACK TO SWITZERLAND JUST SO I COULD GET THE MOTHERFUCKING PRESENT?!
and when they almost ran out, i had to like fight with people for the pendant.
because i thought it was so pretty
and that you'd like it.
but you just went, " oh. thanks. "
BET YOU THREW THE PRESENT AWAY.
seriously.
try considering other people's feelings for once.
and maybe you'd understand why im like this.
god for once i wish you'd just treat me like how you treat ___
but no.
because im obviously not good enough for you to treat me like that right?
because im always going to be someone waiting in the sidelines.
no wonder reenah says im stupid.
everyone asks why i always go back to your side and be your friend.
honestly i dont really know either.
god bless your soul.
i hope i die one day with the feeling that you actually treasured our friendship.
or i actually i just hope i'll die.
so that i dont have to be treated this way anymore
for every single fucking day of my life.
so i dont have to be hurt anymore.
so you dont have to see my face and be irritated anymore.
i know you cant read this, but.
yeah.
maybe one day someone will tell you for real.
or not
i dont know.
nothings turning out right.
one day, some way, you will pay for what youve done to me.
