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NATTAN
her name is nattan. she's 15 this year. she loves God, Key and CJ. »tumblr»twitter»food tumblr

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ANDREACHRISTYCORDIEDLYNELAINE HSIUANNNEEKOLESTACY

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Tuesday, October 25, 2011 11:03 PM
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well hello my non-existent readers.
today's choreo was taught by Evy, and it kinda made me think a little
about everything that's happened.
i feel kinda unappreciated.
okay laugh.
now read this post properly
i guess right now it kinda feels like everyone just uses me as and when they like and then they just throw me away when they're tired of me.
people say that everyone has somebody to lean on
and that everyone will help their friends because they know that they'll receive help when they need it.
(not me i guess because i help all i can and it's never good enough;
i never get any help when i need it.
all they do is laugh.)
and sometimes i just wonder if anyone actually bothers giving a shit about me at all.
sometimes i just want to run away and never come back
to show them all
then i remember that they probably won't care
they won't notice that i'm gone
maybe i'll be thought of every once in a while
but only when they're lonely and sad.
and i know i'm probably overthinking this but
i can't help it.
jiayi says its not my fault
but somehow i just can't help but feel like it is.
and anyway
i have no one to run to
because the one i expected myself to turn to for help
was the first one who abandoned me
and i don't really know what to do with myself right now
it's like im the last choice
when you guys run out of options
like i find myself wondering why i do things for my friends sometimes
because i know that even if i needed help
i probably can't turn to them
because they consider it not their problem
and i have to deal with it myself
no one ever stands up for me
because it's always my fault that shit happens
and thats when they leave
because i've fulfilled my use as a slave and now i'm worth nothing.
i'm trash.
and i think i'm seriously the only one who feels like this like practically all the time
because
christy has jiayi
cordi has her huge ass clique
and stacy has practically everyone
i guess its just me being jealous
but it really does kinda suck that everyone has someone except me
idk.
its just me i guess.
as always.